Friday, April 06, 2007

Order of the Science Scouts

I may not technically be a scientist anymore, but I am a member of the Order of the Science Scouts of Exemplary Repute and Above Average Physique and these are the badges I've earned.



The "I've set fire to stuff" badge (LEVEL I)
In which the recipient has set fire to stuff*, all in the name of general scientific curiosity.

Can you really be a scientist without having this one?
*paper, wood, leaves, plastics, food, hair, Pledge®, ants, my brother's Luke Skywalker X-wing Pilot figure



The "works with acids" badge.
In which the recipient has worked with acids.

Well, I have.



The "I may look like a scientist, but I'm actually also a pirate" badge.
Drinks rum. Into pillaging and stuff. Soft spot for evolutionary biology.

Yup. Sure. Absolutely. I mean..Arrrrr.



The "I've done science with no concievable practical application" badge.
There are probably more who are deserving of this badge than you would expect.

Let me count the ways (one, two, three, four...)



The "I know what a tadpole is" badge.
In which the recipient knows what a tadpole is.

And what Phylum, Class, and Order it's in.



The "experienced with electrical shock" badge (LEVEL III)
In which the recipient has had experience with the electrical shocking of himself/herself.

I was 6 (7? 10? 16?). Mr. Key meet Mr. Wall Socket. Mr. Jim meet Mr. Floor.



The "statistical linear regression" badge.
We figured that if you actually know what those three words together mean, then you deserve a badge. Statistics rock!

Bonus points for having attended the "Summer Institute for Statistical Genetics"!



The "I blog about science" badge.
In which the recipient maintains a blog where at least a quarter of the material is about science. Suffice to say, this does not include scientology.

Self-obvious, don't you think?



The "has frozen stuff just to see what happens" badge (LEVEL I)
In which the recipient has frozen something in the freezer for the sake of scientific curiosity.

Mainly insects. A few spiders.



The "has frozen stuff just to see what happens" badge (LEVEL II)
In which the recipient has frozen something in dry ice for the sake of scientific curiosity.

Again, mainly insects. A few spiders.



The "has frozen stuff just to see what happens" badge (LEVEL III)
In which the recipient has frozen something in liquid nitrogen for the sake of scientific curiosity.

Really, the list is too long. Certainly insects though. Amazingly, no spiders.



The "inordinately fond of invertebrate" badge.
In which the recipient professes an arguably unhealthy affinity for things of this category.

I bought a copy of Brusca & Brusca, "just because". First edition, of course.



The "talking science" badge.
Required for all members. Assumes the recipient conducts himself/herself in such a manner as to talk science whenever he/she gets the chance. Not easily fazed by looks of disinterest from friends or the act of "zoning out" by well intentioned loved ones.

Most of my friends don't even bother to try to listen anymore.

I'll probably have to update this as time goes on and as I earn more badges or as more badges are created.

1 comment:

Sleazy Sam said...

That's hilarious man. I need one of the bottom badges there, in an inordinately large size.